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© Jen Pavich 2018 

Portraits by Tess Cagle                                                  Nature photos by Sean Pavich

You might think you’re invisible 

         ...but I see you

 

I see how hard you work and how alone you often feel. I see how much pressure you put on yourself and how you rarely, if ever, live up to your own expectations. I see you being desperate for things to change and, at the same time, feeling terrified, exhausted and powerless to change them.


There are a million memes on social media about how you should just #stopprocrastinating, do some #self-care and #loveyourself, as if there’s just a fucking switch you can flip and then everything will be fine.


But I think we both know there’s not enough bubble bath in the world to make up for the fact that some days - maybe even most days - you feel like you’re drowning when everyone else is swimming. 


Here’s a secret: It’s not just you. 


Our culture has insane expectations for women. We don’t talk about these expectations out loud, in fact most of the time, we pretend we don’t even notice them – but that doesn’t change the fact that we spend most of our time and energy trying to live up to them.

“We are a generation of young women who were told we could do anything and instead heard that we had to be everything.”


― Courtney E. Martin, Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters

 

From the time we were kids, we learned that women should be pretty and thin and strive for a beauty ideal that is only actually achievable by less than five percent of the female population. 


We knew that, as girls, we should be quiet and uncomplicated and keep our opinions to ourselves.

 

We were taught in a million ways that we should be kind and always giving and take care of everyone around us.

 

At school, and then at work, it became clear that we should be modest and allow others to take credit for our ideas. 


And we haven’t even gotten to the Catch-22s yet.

 

Many of our cultural myths about how to be the perfect woman (and don’t kid yourself — there’s no way we’ll settle for less than perfection) have us walking a bouncing tightrope.

 

Be pretty and sexy, but not slutty.

Be compassionate, but not too emotional.

Be assertive, but not bossy, bitchy or opinionated.

Speak up, but don’t be shrill.

All of this should look as effortless as possible, natch.


As a culture, we’ve decided that, for women, perfection is the baseline expectation. And it’s making us fucking miserable.

By continuing to hold ourselves to ridiculous standards,

we’re not only fucking our own lives, we’re screwing over other women as well.

 

So how do we break the cycle? That's where I come in.

 

About Me

 

Hey there, I'm Jen. I help women identify and overcome the bullshit that is keeping them stuck in their lives. 

 

I am a certified and accredited professional coach with an MA in Human Development, a fierce feminist worldview, and a passion for helping women create change in their lives. I'm also a Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator and my work incorporates the research of Dr. Brené Brown.

 

With my clients, I hold a sacred space to go through the process to uncover their unique conditioning messages. They learn to make peace with their inner critics, talk about what scares the hell out of them and clear what is holding them back.  My process is a blend of wholehearted empathy, intuitive questioning, kick-ass motivation, and sprinkle of magic that allows clients to access their feminine wisdom and build their inner reserves.

I found Jen’s small group workshop to be super helpful.  It was a judgement-free environment where I felt supported and encouraged.  I loved that the podcasts and homework were short enough so that we would have time to do them, but long enough to give us real insight and precipitate change.  

 

I look forward to taking another class from Jen to learn more about thought processes that I didn’t even know I had as well as ways I can grow and become even more badass!

- Rebecca F.  

No matter where you are right now,

you can jump right into this work.

 

When you learn to recognize and overcome your internal bullshit,

you become a force to be reckoned with.

 

You get to choose the direction that you want to head in

and kick the things you don't want to the curb.

 

You can stop people-pleasing and create meaningful relationships with people you choose to have in your life. 

 

You get to build your courage and confidence to speak up for what you believe in, create what you want, and have an impact on the world. 

Want to connect with other women to talk about this?

Join my free Facebook group, The Unquiet Sisterhood

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